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EP19: Aligning With Your Desires

How do you become a vibrational match for your desires? Coach Nancy has over 10 years of experience guiding clients in the areas of wellbeing, mindset, mindfulness and performance. She helps people to take action, find their purpose and explore their visions. In this episode, Nancy focuses on energy and the quantum field to explain how to tap into your desires and receive what you want in life. She explores how you can be mindful of your energy, notice where you are giving away your power, understand what boundaries you need, and start getting comfortable with receiving.

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Victoria: Have you ever been jealous of someone else’s success and thought that should have been me? Have you ever gotten frustrated at not being valued or just seen? Or felt dissatisfied with your life feeling like you are so destined for more? If this is you, then keep listening to today’s podcast because in this episode, we are going to look at how you can tap into your desires and find out what you really, really, truly want in life.

Joining me today to help us discover our destinies is one of our extraordinary coaches over at Hello Coach, Nancy. Nancy has been a coach for over 10 years, has coached individuals and organizations in how to improve their wellbeing, their mindset, mindfulness, and performance. Amongst other things, we’ll be talking about how to become more mindful of ourselves and our emotions and how we can use this to realise the opportunities around, with a particular focus today in our conversation around energy and the quantum field. So welcome, Nancy. And it’s amazing to have you here again.

Nancy: Thank you. It’s great to be back.

Victoria: That is a quantum field is such a large, it was not a large, it’s a topic – I’m probably going to make a wide statement here – t’s a topic that we hear about that, I don’t think people really understand, what exactly is it. What’s the definition for quantum field and how can we use it in our lives to really manifest who we are to become rock stars? And I would love to start, firstly, in your experience, because I do know that you have, you teach this particular topic with many of our clients, and I would love to hear from you, firstly, if you can indulge us, can we unpack, really, the essence of quantum field and what this really means?

Nancy: Sure, definitely. I fell into this work because I remember when I actually was in a conference and I remember meeting a woman or there was a few women in San Diego. And I could sense that there were these really powerful women who were attracting a lot of everything they desired into their life and they weren’t stressed or overwhelmed, they were just in really good spirits. Their energy was so magnetic.

And I was like, ‘I want some of that’. So I started to get very curious, which of course led me down the path of really immersing myself into the study of it. Started working with Bob Proctor and all of that sort of stuff, which was great. And I realized that there was this incredible, I guess there was an incredible potential… potentiality of a way of living that was not something I’d ever experienced.

And it was all about energy and really starting to unpack the idea of this universe. And it started to just become extremely attractive to me because it made me realize that I didn’t have to be as busy doing things that I didn’t want to do. It was more about understanding what my desires really are, that are in this quantum field, like in the universe.

And by saying that, all of us have desires and they’re all seeds for us to tap into. So for me, if I was to unpack the meaning of it, it’s a space in which there is limitless potential, potentiality. and it’s a different feeling. It’s vibrational energy and human beings are 96% energy and say 4% human mind.

Like we are all energy. Trees are energy, oceans are energy and everything is energy. For those of you that have studied Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work, this is all he teaches. And what I also realized is we can have desires.

There’s things we really want for ourselves, but if we’re not a vibrational match for it, if we don’t understand how to be a vibrational match for a desire, it’s very difficult to make it happen.

So there’s two things – there’s one, understanding what the desire is. And the second part is how do I manifest that from a place of no resistance, no struggle, no hustle? Like, all of that stuff that we’re really used to and conditioned to do, especially, you know, we do hours and hours and hours of work, and sometimes we’ll go home and we’re not satisfied.

That’s not everyone, people have very satisfying jobs, but there’s a reason for that. So I started to have a look at…

Victoria: I have a – and maybe this is a similar concept to quantum energy in the quantum field – I have another saying that I’ve shared with clients over the years that it’s called the waterfall effect.

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: And when you are in flow, it’s like you are literally in flow, like a riverbed or a waterfall, and it’s just this incredible beauty of continuous flow and life just works better.

Life is more effortless.

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: Life is more… you’re more present to your life. Life is a lot more simplistic, and you don’t seem to be impacted by the white noise and the chaos of life. However, In my own experience, we all have different practices and this is our evolution of being a human being – to ultimately increase our consciousness.

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: And we all have our different practices that can connect us with that higher stream, higher consciousness.

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: …that is then connected to all the other energy modalities around us. And firstly, it’s being mindful of who I am in that space and what energy am I emitting to… outside of who I am and is that the right vibration?

Is that the best frequency? Does it align? Am I out of alignment is my frequency out of alignment with really what I do want to manifest. And you often just have to have a look in your own world on a real physical level to look at what you have created in your world. Take a stock take and say, well, if I’ve attracted that into my world, and I don’t really want that, where is there a glitch in the matrix?

I mean, this is how I use quantum physics and quantum energy, and it may be a little bit different to what you are about to take us on a journey on, but I’m trying to relate it in practical ways of what happens when you’re in flow and what happens when you’re not in flow and you’re not connected that quantum field.

Nancy: Yes. That makes sense. I think there’s quite a bit to unpack with it, but to start, when we’re in flow, when we are in that space, and we’re not in a resistant way of being, it’s because, usually, we’ve been seriously conscious about what’s not working. So you said, take stock for example.

And I tend to do is I use my emotions as a set point. But this is an evolution, this never stops. This is an ongoing process. I’m still in the middle of major transformation all the time. And so what I like to ask myself is who am I being today? Over what am I doing today? Which is a really huge shift because it’s in the being, who am I being, that you allow yourself to look at… you could have triggers going on.

And that’s something that keeps us in a very low vibrational state, because if you get triggered often or you’re, you know, you might have a personality where you react and you, and then later you’d be like, oh bother. But it’s like taking stock of the triggers is really powerful way to just stop.

And rather than go and be fueled up in that moment, just, there’s something that’s up for healing so that you can actually raise your vibrational energy.

Victoria: Let’s just start there. When you coach clients around how they can increase their vibrational energy.

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: Some of the tools that you share with them to create the shift that obviously makes them closer to being connected to their quantum energy?

Nancy: Okay. the place that I always start is where am I giving my power away? And who am I giving my power away to? It’s a really big question because we’re never aware of these things until we start having the conversations. So I break it down into energy leaks and where I feel out of my power. And, usually, there’s situations going on in people’s life that aren’t complete yet, or they’re just like, you know, you can imagine you still need to complete it, put it in a box and let’s keep moving, but we stay in this very stagnant energy, and it comes down to how many decisions am I making a day to move closer to what I desire or to feel more at peace?

So it’s kind of, like you said before, which is a great word, is this is like a stock-take, let’s just have a look at what’s going on and how you’re feeling in all of these areas. And then with the client, we will go off for an, an emotional set point and then I’ll ask the question, what is working really well? What is just working incredibly well in your life right now?

And the funny thing about that is we don’t often look at it and think, gosh, this is working so well. Like my relationship with my daughter or the fact that I have my family here and, my beautiful home. And these are things that are working really well.

And we talked a little bit, you and I have talked about celebrating and gratitude celebration and gratitude is 90% there. The energy of celebration and gratitude is a very potent energy that relates extremely well to the quantum field.

So if you’re grateful and you’re sitting in a energy that is even grateful for things that haven’t even happened yet, which is what we talk about with manifesting, you have a much higher chance of lifting your vibration and actually attracting in the things that you deserve.

Victoria: So what about meditation? So I’m a keen meditator. I have been introduced to transcendental meditation when I was eight, I was very fortunate that my mum was always such a, she just believed in the power of settling the mind and having the mind in a calm, grounded manner, no matter what. And I know when I go, when I commit to those practices every day, that there is a calmness that washes over and through me and above me, that is unexplainable. And I know that there is such power and force when you effortlessly drop in into a quiet space.

Now I’m not saying every meditation practice, you nail it because it’s not something that you, it’s not a goal, as such, you often have distractions and noise in our mind and, and everything else, but it’s about setting up the commitment every day to raise your energy and raise your vibration. And it’s a place of restoration.

Nancy: Yes.

Victoria: As opposed to, we can do that when you go and sit in the park or under a tree and then connecting with, the grass and the surroundings, and drink it all in. However, there is something unique that comes from the practice of stillness as well, that has a direct impact on supercharging the frequency that we emit…

Nancy: Yes.

Victoria: …then that energetic signal. It’s like little sound waves of our little dreams and desires…

Nancy: Yes.

Victoria: …that gets shot out there into the universe. And then, that’s part of it. And then, the other part of it is being able to receive. So it’s one thing to be clear on your desires, but then there’s another to, who am I? To bring it in.

Nancy: That’s the whole layer. Yeah. And I think that was probably the biggest transformation for me personally, and for the clients that I work with, I suppose we talked a little bit about masculine and feminine energy, but feminine energy is in the receiving, and a lot of us really don’t feel worthy of receiving whether it’s money or love.

Even a desire that we have, it might feel so out there that we’re like, who am I to have that?

Victoria: I think there’s another layer here and I’d love to explore it with you. Yes. Our mindset and our patterns and our thoughts structures are incredibly powerful to either open or limit what we create, but there is also a conditioning that happens in our world and in our society that you need to be more, do more, strive more, achieve more, and that is so ‘masculinely related’ if that’s such a word, it probably isn’t, that when you are in your masculine mode of doing and the scales get out of balance, you essentially close down the doors to receive, which is you close down the doors of your feminine energy.

So it’s sometimes being good to go back to using a bit of a stock-take on what tasks am I doing every day that is using my masculine energy? That is often the one that exhausts us. It’s in the doing.

Nancy: It is.

Victoria: And that’s a good sign that when you are out of balance or you’ve been spending too much time in your mind and analyzing and doing strategy, that there is a sign for your body to say, ‘Hey, I, you need to, you know, be whoa, I’m over here, come and nourish me up’.

And then that’s one of the feminine exercises and routines that we can get into to be more restorative.

Nancy: Yeah, that’s true. and I think this is what really attracted me to the creative world is because artists, creative people, rely on ideas and getting really excited about them. And if we’re busy doing things in masculine energy, we’ll get, we’ll start… some of the signs that we’re being too masculine I guess, in a masculine energy and it starts to take over is simple, it’s when we feel resentful, it’s when we start to feel burnout. We might start becoming more angry or we can feel it, you can feel it in your body and you’re like, oh, what’s going on?

Victoria: That goes back to your question. Your very first one is where when you get that sense of frustration, build up a good point is to say, where am I actually placing my energy? And with whom? And why? And what do I need to do to shift the scales back in balance again, and reclaim where my energy and focus has been going that is clearly a drain? And there’s another simple exercise that I’ve done with clients of these. And I’d love to know what you do to do a, a litmus check on – what I call them – energy vampires.

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: Who do we have in our world that literally sucks the life out of us? And, but where the enablers, where the accomplices, we can’t blame them because whilst ever we say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And we continue to do, do, do, do. Of course, most people are going to go, okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Nancy: Yeah, look, that’s, something that I always even look out for myself as well. It’s if we’re doing all the time, but we don’t actually have a portal or a channel that’s open to receiving back. Even as an entrepreneur or wherever you’re working, if you feel like you’re giving so much of yourself, but you’re not feeling like there’s a receiving part – so whether it’s a promotion, or whatever it is you really desire, then we have to look at that because there’s an opportunity.

So a lot of the time too, when someone’s feeling like that, I’ll even look at diaries and scheduling and calendars because people burn thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars when they’re in masculine energy.

When really you should have probably just taken the week off. Because looking after yourself, going for a walk on the beach, meditating, connecting back in with yourself and, and you do use the mindset piece, right? About, how much do I believe in myself today? Or, how aligned do I feel with my desires?

And if we don’t stop to do it, we just keep running and running and running and I’ve done it myself, you know? So, sometimes you just need to stop. That might mean canceling things. It can look a little, you know, but, when you start to set boundaries around self-care, which was, which is huge. Then you can start to attract your desires and see where you could be receiving more.

Victoria: So the first, one of the first places to start is obviously checking in with your energy.

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: To ask yourself how not, what am I thinking, but how am I feeling?

Nancy: How am I feeling?

Victoria: How am I feeling today? How is my body? how is my energy levels feeling? And am I feeling chaotic? Am I feeling grounded? Am I feeling messy in my head?

Am I feeling, do I have clarity? Uh, as a way of starting the next day? Again, I know we’ve both been coaches like forever is the importance of having outcomes of really, what is it that I want to create for my world and limits off, stepping into that place of possibility, not impossibility, but possibility.

And what’s my compass point for what I’m wanting to create in my world, and then be able to use that map, almost, as a way to then use your daily practices to check in, to say, well, if my energy is flat or I have a bunch of energy that vampires around me, there is no way that I’m going to have any energy left over to what I want to manifest for myself.

Nancy: Yeah. Yep.

Victoria: And. Sometimes it is a daily thing. It can be an hourly thing, sometimes, to know if your day is sliding off the grid, I will to stop and stop and pause and reflect and actually give yourself permission to pivot a decision to ‘Okay. If I stay on the current trajectory today, I’m going to end up in a mess on the floor. I’m going to end up frustrated. I’m going to start snapping at my children or partner because I haven’t actually taken self-care’.

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: So to your point, carve out an hour.

Nancy: Yes.

Victoria: …or whatever you need just to decompartmentalise your day, re-structure your meetings to create space in there for whatever it is that you need to do in that moment, or that space of time to come back to what is important.

And to also look at the decisions that you’re making in that day, is that actually going to get me a step closer towards the outcomes that I really want to create for this day?

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: … or this week, or this month or my life, however you want to do short, medium long-term goals. So, it’s a constant check-in. But the most important thing is firstly, start, start with, what is it that you want?

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: What is it you want to create?

Nancy: And that’s one of the things. You mentioned when you opened up the podcast was talking about jealousy, which is, when we look at emotions in the body, there’ll be particular emotions that really trigger us, for example jealousy, but when used correctly or the perspective to view it from could, but could be, is that something I really desire for myself?

And start to, and this was something that when I started to tap into the quantum field with what I really desired for myself, it just felt so out there. I was like, wow. But I just started, I started to talk about it. I started to – and I definitely do this with clients – is talk about how we can bring it into our world as if it’s happening, because what we will tend to do is we’ll see things so far away.

So where on one timeline that will, you know, everything is so far away and outside of ourselves, we’ve sort of been trained traditionally to go through school and get good grades. And we’ll probably a lot of us fail a lot like I did, and that damages our sense of, self-worth terribly.

And so we believe that if if we go and study more, and then get that certificate, maybe that will help. but what we tend to do is we’d start to live in this environment of a lack energy of not enough. I’m not enough. I’ll never be enough. I won’t even get started. Or it’s a really kind of, it’s a similar vibrational energy, if I’m talking about frequencies.

So learning how to notice what you desire and start to bring that in, and start to learn how to act as if that desire is already yours. What if you, what if you could have that? And start to get very curious.

Victoria: I found that, a philosophy that I followed personally, and we have obviously carried this through into Hello Coach, is being able to support all the dimensions of who you are, that ultimately then support the quantum field, which is the five dimensions. You’ve got your physical body. You have your emotional body, you have your intellectual body, you have soul, your soul body, and your energetic body.

And it’s being able to look at, do I need to firstly look at where are they feeling depleted? And slowly working your way around all the dimensions of who you are to be able to bring your best self forward in the world, to then use that effortless stream of connectedness to the energetic field, to source, to create, to manifest because you can’t manifest by your thoughts only.

Nancy: No.

Victoria: It’s a combined effort of all the different parts of who you are to bring that into as close alignment as you can with being as whole, as you possibly can be.

Nancy: Yes.

Victoria: And this is life. You know, we’re never going to reach that utopia world here because we are always a work in progress. And that’s what I love being about a human being – that we always have the opportunity to keep growing and learning, and we have the ability to keep choosing to lift our consciousness, and we have choice.

Nancy: We certainly do. We do. And I think one of the things I’ve realised is it can be very foreign to understand how to look after ourselves, because we may not be used to it, especially women, I find, that I work with who are mums, have jobs and it’s very busy. And so the disconnection is real and then the resentment and, burnout kicks in.

And when you start to learn how to integrate self care, which can be very small to start. So, I always encourage people to wake up an hour earlier. I know not everyone’s into it, but it’s a life-changing, it’s a life-changing ritual. It could be half an hour earlier. It could be, you know, just that half an hour of put a candle on, get out your journal or meditate and just have silence.

Nancy: I tell you when everyone is asleep in the world, and it’s dark, and there is a connection to the universe that I feel that’s just incredible. So I do a lot of my, I guess, energy connection in the morning. I also meditate before I go to bed just to decompress and obviously our minds keep going. Or our phones, for that matter.

So it’s really important to find a practice that works for you, but definitely integrate something.

Victoria: I hear that. I mean, I’m always up very early and there is something very beautiful around the world being asleep. And you are the one that is up and the world is still, and it allows you to use that time to heal your brain.

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: And we have something like I had one of our other coaches on for Jude on a podcast the other week.

And he gave an extraordinary statistic that we have something like 23,000 breaths in our day. And how many of those are we actually conscious of? And if we were conscious of them or more conscious of our breath, what we could actually do with that.

Nancy: Yes. That’s incredible.

Victoria: And it says again, a simple exercise, that, you know, the importance of, and that’s a very, that’s really connecting into feminine energy and getting out of masculine mode and getting out of your head and phones and to-do lists meetings and all those things. And it’s so important to be able to offset and balance up all the parts of who we are.

But I know that when you’re in the feminine mode really in, in a, and this is probably another conversation, but when you do want to powerfully manifest, it’s a combination of everything. It’s a combination of doing and being…

Nancy: Of course.Yeah. I mean, I love masculine energy structure, or I would just be floating around like…

Victoria: Correct.

Nancy: …in the breeze, but, that’s one of the powerful things about having worked in the corporate world and I love masculine energy structure and taking action. I still thrive on it because it’s fun. And putting yourself out there, is part of it.

Victoria: And at sometimes well, are taught to think that sometimes you get quicker results when you push, but really, you can get as effective and as quicker results, when you stand in a place of receiving, being clear with your antennas on what it is that you’re actually wanting to create and using your energy frequency and your manifesting powers to really bring in and be like a magnet.

Nancy: Yes.

Victoria: And draw it into you rather than pushing all the time.

Nancy: Yes.

Victoria: And there is a season, I do believe, for pushing output and there is a season for receiving. Now those seasons might change week to week, or season to season, but I know we can delve into lots of different places, but when it’s winter, that’s the time to stop, pause, reflect. And then in springtime, it’s a time to push out a little bit more in seeding new ideas, and using that springtime energy to create new growth and then let the harvest come in.

Nancy: Yes.

Victoria: Sometimes I, when you use little analogies like that, it just helps you understand that there is an ebb and flow of life and when you can harness it and work with the rhythms of life…

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: …it’s a lot more enjoyable.

Nancy: Yes. And that’s the result we all want is we want to feel joy, you know, not all the time. I understand that it’s impossible to feel joy all the time, but that you’d mentioned the compass before, and we all know what lights us up. We do know. We do. And it’s just finding out, making it more of a priority to actually seek what you know, what are the things that really light you up?

Because you’ll know.

Victoria: Sorry, in order to just to do a quick summary, if we could do it a bit of a checklist of some takeaways, it would be starting with how’s my energy feeling? Where am I giving away my power?

Nancy: Yeah.

Victoria: What is working really well in my life? I love that. Love that question. It’s so good. Just to celebrate what’s working really well.

Nancy: We don’t do it, but yes.

Victoria: What boundaries do I need to put back in my life to encourage greater self-care, to balance up the energies between too much? And not enough doing versus two months of being relaxed work and not enough doing.

Nancy: And also giving too much giving.

Victoria: Yes. And then you said something very interesting – creating a portal where you receive.

Nancy: Yeah. So it’s getting really comfortable with the energy of receiving something. Often, if we did a staring exercise and we sit in front of each other and we just stare at each other in each other’s eyes for two or three minutes, which I’ve done at workshops, it’s very uncomfortable because it’s, you’re diving into someone’s soul.

And how often, when we are out during the day, talking with our friends, are we actually looking at them in the eye and receiving, their… receiving our friends, receiving the love from another person. It’s not just ‘that person loves me’. It’s actually integrating the energy of it into your body, which is the whole embodiment process, which is a whole other layer to manifesting.

But, and it can be very emotional as well, but it’s that next level. It’s like the breath…

Victoria: Ultimately though that’s, if we can sum it up in one word, it’s about creating deep connection.

Nancy: Deep connection.

Victoria: It starts with yourself and then it can move outwards.

Nancy: Yes.

Victoria: Such a beautiful topic, such a beautiful topic.

Nancy: I love it too. And that’s why I love to teach it, because it feels good. I feel calm now.

Victoria: So I, so do I. We need to end the conversation right now, but that has been a lovely topic. It’s just interesting, as we move into that space of really observing our energy and even talking about topics that we love, it can create a spike in your energy and, again, it’s just being conscious of what you are bringing into your world every day, and to make sure that are filling up that well, in a variety of different ways to ensure that you absolutely thrive.

And yes, that’s linked to so many different things such as self-care and, and all of that, but it’s, it’s choosing to bring things into your world that literally bring your joy. And it’s gratitude, joy. They’re very similar. And even if you started that as a number one step to working towards lifting your vibration, lifting your frequency, just start there as a starting point.

Nancy: A hundred percent

Victoria: Thank you so much. It was lovely to have you back on today’s show. And if you would like to explore quantum field and manifesting a lot easier working with all the dimensions that make us extraordinary human beings, you can absolutely find Nance over at our Hello Coach, where you can find her and book her.

And we’ll definitely have you back on again for another conversation. So thank you, as always.

Nancy: That was wonderful. I loved it, thank you.

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